Mid to late 20’s

Mid to late 20’s…

At the age of 24 I had my second child. I took 3 months of maternity leave and then went back work. During these years I was basically on autopilot. I mean, I was going to work and maintaining a house and raising children all in one stride. During this time I’d try to find motivation all kinds of different ways. I was constantly on the move and felt like I barely had enough time for myself.

That might sound bad. I really do love my family though. I love being the one that they all depend on and I love being to provide.

I guess it was at this point in my life that I started to truly understand the concept of discipline, hardwork, sacrifice and most importantly creativity.

During this time, I graduated from my local community college and started my dream job of being a social work. I’ve wanted to be a social worker for as long as I can remember. Once I got a job in field, I knew I’d made the right decision. I truly enjoy waking up every morning and going into the office. My favorite thing about it is that I’ll only be in the office for an hour or so before I head out into the community to meet with my clients.



My teenage years

My teenage years

I was 16 when I had my first child. I hate admitting this, but I actually did drop out of high school. Once I got into my third trimester, I was always tired and uncomfortable. The last thing I wanted to do was wake up early and go to school. Two words, morning sickness.

One thing that stands out to me about my pregnancy is the way that young girls like myself were portrayed in the media. I felt like society in general classified me as some sort of failure. Someone who had thrown her whole life away before it actually really got started.

There were very few movies and t.v. programs that didn’t aim to destroy my ego and self worth. I was constantly bombarded with all the negative things that were bound to happen to me due to the fact that I was soon to be a teenage mom. Never mind all of the good skills and characteristics that can be associated with being a teenage parent. We are led to believe that only the negative effects of teenage pregnancy will have an effect on us.

Thankfully, websites like iteeniparent.com and a few others have been created and now the conversation is more balanced.

Teenage parents of today will hopefully grow up with more confidence and understanding than I did way back in the day. And that’s a good thing.


My college years

My college years

It’s seems that for a lot of people, college is when they let loose and experience many things for the first time. Whether its one night stands or experimenting with drugs, every one seems to have done for the first time while in college. My college experience was nothing like that. No wild parties, no alcohol or drug overdoses and no noteworthy sexual experiences.

I basically spent my college years on a spiritual and physical re-awakening. I found and followed several religions. I even spent the better part of a year believing that I was an atheist.

Attending a small school like St.Petersburg college in St.Petersburg, FL allowed me the opportunity have as big or small of a social circle that I desired at the time. Meaning I could go to a day party attended by most of my school down at Clearwater Beach on a Saturday or I could I spend the whole day in my apartment getting lost in a book.

More often than not, I would choose to get lost in a book. I never really had much of a desire to be popular and socialize with the “in crowd”. I feel that there were many benefits to the choices I made in college. I got good grades, I stayed out of trouble and I’m currently climbing the corporate ladder in my chosen profession.

Moral of the story is… Just because everyone else is doing something, doesn’t mean that it’s right and it doesn’t mean that you should do it too.


Modern society and teenage pregnancy

Modern society and teenage pregnancy

We live in a day and time where teenage pregnancy is looked at much differently than it used to be. As recently as the 1950’s, girls as young as 14 were marrying men as old as 50 and 60. I know it seems gross and down-right wrong now, but it used to be the norm.

Young women would marry at 14-16 and have 3 or 4 kids by the time they were 21. Look at the movies that hollywood was producing back then, how common was it for “Mr.Smith” to ride into town on his horse on monday and leave on friday with a new young wife in tow? Literally, grown men would have some sort of business to conduct in town, hang out in the local tavern, notice some young 14-16 girl running errands or working or whatever, and make his move.

Now a days, teenage pregnancy movies are much different. Young ladies are being vilified for doing the exact same thing that their grandmother did. One movie stand out to me. It’s called Quinceanera, and basically, a young girl is treated like shit because she fell in love and got pregnant. Teenagers are already highly impressionable, and when we consistantly tell them that they are failures, they will eventually start believing it.

With so much emphasis on the negative effects of teenage pregnancy, is it any surprise that so many teenage parents seem to fall within the negative categories that we subconciesly put them in? When we tell a young man that when he becomes a teenage father, he most likely wont stay in a relationship with his childs mother, he almost expects the relationship to end. When we tell him that he’s more likely to go to prison instead of graduate college, he internalizes that and then creates it in his life.

What if we went the opposite end of the spectrum and started speaking and teaching about the positive effects of teenage pregnancy? A lot teenage parents are forced into situations where… well… let’s just say pressure can burst pipes and it can also make diamonds. The extenuating circumstances that come along with being a teenage parent has created some of the most successful people in the world.

Are we to blame modern society as a whole or certain groups of individuals for the negative light we’ve come to view teen parents in? That answer I do not know.

While doing some research, I did come across an interesting website about being a teenage parent. It’s called iteeniparent.com and it is written by a teenage parent who goes by A.Kirshawn.